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Text File  |  1995-03-03  |  5KB  |  91 lines
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  15.      | |                           |_/                                  | |
  16.      | |                                                                | |
  17.      | |      c   o   m   m   u   n   i   c   a   t   i   o   n   s     | |
  18.      | |________________________________________________________________| |
  19.      |____________________________________________________________________|
  20.  
  21.   ...presents...                   Boxing Day
  22.                                                          by Patrick Burton
  23.  
  24.                       >>> a cDc publication.......1994 <<<
  25.                         -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
  26.   ____       _     ____       _       ____       _     ____       _       ____
  27.  |____digital_media____digital_culture____digital_media____digital_culture____|
  28.  
  29.      Sitting at the computer reading mail again today, like yesterday.  The
  30. account expires in mid-January.  After logging off I'll play Tetris for hours
  31. until I'm so tired I can run away from the curse of consciousness, probably by
  32. mid-morning.  Like yesterday.
  33.  
  34.      Christmas started with a phone quarrel with the best friend, the most
  35. recent x-significant other.  Stupid like all petty fights; ended by saying "I
  36. don't want to continue this conversation, good night," and slamming the phone
  37. down.  Five after 12:00.
  38.  
  39.      Woke about 5:00 pm and opened the presents.  Chocolate creme liqueur from
  40. a friend, a sweater and other clothes from the family.  Phoned them in Alberta;
  41. this year I decided not to go.  Not a good time to be with them.
  42.  
  43.      In mid-February I will be forty-one years old.  Still no novel, no major
  44. publications, "no star/no fuck" as Richard Brautigan had it (a highly positive
  45. literary reference, that one is).
  46.  
  47.      Can't forget the New Year of 1990: an A-frame ski cottage buried under
  48. blankets of snow in the brooding crisp stillness of the Canadian Rockies.
  49. Drinking $100-a-bottle Perrier Jouet, with a woman I thought would be my wife
  50. for all our days.
  51.  
  52.      She wore black silk.  She was beautiful, she was smart, she was
  53. sophisticated and experienced; a hard worker with her own successful business,
  54. due to inherit several million dollars.  She was in love with me.  And I was in
  55. love with her.
  56.  
  57.      I haven't spoken to her since April of 1990.  She gave up.
  58.  
  59.      It's cold in this room.  There are too many juice bottles and newspapers
  60. not recycled on the floor, the laundry and the dishes need my attention and
  61. they will not have it today.
  62.  
  63.      Boxing Day.  In a room in old Parkdale in cold Toronto.  Not a condo in LA
  64. where Emmy and Oscar and Grammy awards shine and glitter in the warm glow of
  65. all the world's imagination.
  66.  
  67.      Now: I work on computers, small cheap PCs, for a tiny community agency
  68. helping psychiatric consumer/survivors... crazy people who have little more
  69. than an assistance check, a handful of pills, too much time, and each other.
  70.  
  71.      It's a good place and the work is worth doing.  It pays, and there is
  72. freedom to try to help some troubled folks, who very much need whatever hope
  73. they can grasp.  Most days, I just concentrate on doing the task at hand and I
  74. don't look back.
  75.  
  76.      But, Boxing Day... time to put on the gloves and go a few more rounds with
  77. the past.
  78.  
  79.      "Charlie, Charlie... I coulda been a *contendah*..."
  80.                          -Marlon Brando, _On The Waterfront_
  81.  _______  __________________________________________________________________
  82. / _   _ \|Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362|Kingdom of Shit.....806/794-1842|
  83.  ((___)) |Cool Beans!..........415/648-PUNK|Polka AE {PW:KILL}..806/794-4362|
  84.  [ x x ] |Metalland Southwest..713/579-2276|ATDT East...........617/350-STIF|
  85.   \   /  |The Works............617/861-8976|Ripco ][............312/528-5020|
  86.   (' ')  |            Save yourself!  Go outside!  DO SOMETHING!            |
  87.    (U)   |==================================================================|
  88.   .ooM   |Copyright (c) 1994 cDc communications and Patrick Burton.         |
  89. \_______/|All Rights Reserved.                               12/01/1994-#297|
  90.  
  91.